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Joke of the Day

"An escalator can never break it can only become stairs."

"After all this Starbucks cup controversy, if Taco Bell was smart, they'd start serving their burritos in little cardboard mangers"

"I tried making a chemistry joke today... ... But all the good element jokes Argon"

"A black man walks into a bar... ...with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender exclaims, ""Wow! How exotic! Where did you get it?"" ""Africa"" Says the parrot."

"If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed. HA."

"Why don't hipsters like fishing? It's too mainstream."

"Nothing brings out the kid in you like... an abortion."

"I couldn't believe it when my wife announced she was leaving me for being too lazy. Especially after I'd spent all morning taking the Christmas decorations down....."

"Did you hear about the new HBO series that investigates gambling in sports? It's called Thrown Games."

"Mad at your man? Five minutes before he gets home, turn on ""Pitch Perfect"" then hide the remote in the dishwasher."