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Joke of the Day
"[keeps slapping empty glass ketchup bottle until the entire cafe is silent]"
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"Barbie didn't give me a poor body image; Barbie taught me you can't reattach a head once it's been removed from the body."
"My 40 time Is about 4.2 gulps"
"The Cleveland Browns Title says it all"
"How many people live in the lower part of Italy? There are literally Sicilians."
"I once raised a roof, and now that he's all grown up he never writes or calls."
"How do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it's not going to come."
"What do you get when you mix a leper and a con man? A lepercon. (In honor of Saint Patrick's day.)"
"How did Darth Vader know what Luke had for Christmas? He felt his presents."
"Are you a hydroelectric source of power? ...cause dam!"