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Joke of the Day

"So i made a joke about paper.. but it was tearable"

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"Why are jewish potion makers all male? He brew"
"What is the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? One US leader"
"Responded to a ""you up"" text at 3AM with ""Let me play with your teeth."" The reply ten minutes later: ""no."" This is already my favorite year."
"What does a unionized hooker say when she is done work for the day? I'm off the cock."
"People who comment with 'goose bums' on YouTube videos, more power to you!"
"Study Finds Birth Control Pills Linked to Fewer Severe Knee Injuries In Teenage Girls... (REMOVED)"
"Every meal I didn't have to cook myself is the best meal I've ever had."
"What happened to the two zombies who went on a date? They had a *Necro*mantic** time."
"You have 90,000 followers, follow 92,000, and all you tweet are @s thanking people for following back. Are you raising an army for Mordor?"