61317

Joke of the Day

"Not to get technical, but according to Chemistry...Alcohol is a solution."

"Helped a turtle cross the road today. So how does this karma shit work? Should I buy a lottery ticket, or just try to fold a fitted sheet?"

"What's the most important part of making a Mexican joke ? Making sure that no Juan hears you."

"[at TED talk] OMG that man is having a heart attack! Anyone here a doctor? *entire crowd stands* No a MEDICAL doctor *entire crowd sits*"

"I'm looking for a book on lack of empathy', I asked the librarian. Do I look like I give a fcuk?', he snapped. ""Yes, that's the one', I said."

"What do gender studies graduates commonly say? ""Would you like fries with that?"""

"I saw a kid getting bullied by 4 people, so I decided to help out. He didn't stand a chance against the 5 of us."

"Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they'd be baygulls (bagels get it?)."

"""Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous"" ""I see a lot of new faces in here this week and i just have to say I'm really disappointed"""

"I waited for so long at the doctor's office that by the time they called me it was time for my follow-up appointment."