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Joke of the Day

"Wow, I wish people were into politics as much as they're into sports. *meets someone who's really into politics* Wow, I wish I was dead."

"Opening a gym... Gonna focus on power walking & door knocking. I'll call it ""Jehovah's Fitness"""

"What does Charles Darwin use to moisturise his skin? Evo-lotion."

"Birds wouldn't be so smug in zero gravity, I bet"

"I'd really, really love to adopt a kid some day. Abort* Sorry, I hate auto correct."

"Why did the toilet paper stop crossing the road? It got stuck in a crack."

"A Priest And A Rabbi Are Sitting On A Park Bench Watching Kids Play... Priest - ""Hey rabbi, want to help me screw these kids?"" Rabbi-""Screw them out of what?"""

"CIA: So what did you call that new tracking software we put on everyone's iPhone? NSA: ""U2's New Album"""

"2 Indian guys accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine... Both were rushed to hospital. One's in a korma, the other's got a dodgy tikka."

"Why do women watch porn movies from start to finish ? They think there will be a wedding at the end."