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Joke of the Day

"If we took Korea's capital away ... They would be Seoulless"

"That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid."

"There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away."

"HEY OFFICER, STOP SCREAMING AT ME TO PULL OVER, I'M DRUNK NOT DEAF"

"#wecanlandonacometbutwecant let a comet land on us. - Yakov Smirnoff"

"Of all the horrible ways to die I think healthy eating sounds the most painful."

"A crossfiter, a vegan, and an atheist walk into a bar... I know this because they won't shut up about it."

"A day without sunshine is like, night."

"Yesterday I took laxatives and laughing gas at the same time For shits and giggles."

"How did the mobster burn his lips on a tailpipe? He tried to blow up a police car."