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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between picking your nose.... ...and fucking someone up the ass? When picking your nose, you hope something **will** be stuck to the end after you pull out!"

"Did you hear about the constipated math teacher's problem? She worked it out with a #2 pencil."

"[Driving w/date in car] Date [turns radio to country] Me [reaches over date, opens passenger door] This isn't working. [Hits eject button]"

"*hairstylist holds mirror behind my head after styling my hair* ""Is that ok for you sir?"" ""Yes that is a beautiful mirror. I'll take it"""

"The Pirate Bay's founders go to jail, while the folks who make guns & cigarettes eat caviar in yachts. Legal system working as intended."

"Since we are doing lightbulb jokes, here's one... Q: How many abstract artists does it to screw in a lightbulb? A: A fish!"

"What's Captain Hook's favourite kind of shop? The second hand shop."

"I graduated in zooscatology. ""BULLSHIT!"""

"This year I've decided I'm going to exercise religiously... That means I'm going to work out on Easter and Christmas and I'm done."

"The difference between a rooster and a lawyer? When the rooster wakes, his primal urge is to cluck defiance."