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Joke of the Day

"Approx 4,500yrs ago men would wake up everyday to build the great pyramid. I got up this morning with anxiety about unloading the dishwasher"

"Frozen (2013): A girl with magical powers causes adults to talk nonstop about a movie for children"

"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster-shucker and a hooker with diarrhea? One shucks between fits, and the other fucks between shits."

"I can't stop traveling to Southern Spain. It's all so Moorish."

"DAD: What happened to your car? SON: Transmission is shot. Reverse doesn't work. DAD: Well... SON: Don't- DAD: There's no going back now"

"Why don't Mexicans cross the border in 3's? No tres passing"

"What did the masturbator say when returning the porn that his friend let him borrow? [OC] Thanks, came in handy!"

"My son just referred to a beaver as a ""wood-eater"". So I mulled it over in my mind for a bit and it would seem he's correct on two levels."

"Nothing shows the depressing reality of physical aging more than a boy band reunion."

"The student asked his sensei: ""Why do you fight using only your feet?"" Oh, y'know. For kicks."