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Joke of the Day
"How many governments does it take to make an Egyptian happy? I'll let you know when I find out..."
Next Joke
"Seven days without a joke makes one weak."
"Girlfriend is having trouble opening an oyster at dinner. She hands it to me to open. Just as I pry it open, I say, ""The easiest way to open this is with a little mussel"""
"What do you get if a convict goes camping? Criminal Intent."
"Cop: Why are your eyes bloodshot? Me: My girlfriend dumped me and I was crying... Cop: Oh. Me: ...so I smoked weed to feel better."
"What do you feed a 600 pound Gorilla? Anything it wants!"
"So my Orchestra conductor keeps telling the Violas to play louder... I guess it just isn't their Forte. ;)"
"Waitress: 'Do u have any questions about the menu?' Me: 'What kind of font is this?'"
"My son just chewed gum during his entire bath. I eagerly await a cease-and-desist order from Burt Reynolds's attorney."
"there're two reasons why i wear a diaper for 1 & 2"