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Joke of the Day

"What is a twip? A twip is what a wabbit takes when he wides a twain."

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"Where is the most environmental friendly place on Earth? r/Jokes, recycling rate is 98% here!"
"Why did President Kennedy never get drunk? He wasn't very good at taking shots."
"What did the windmill say to Lady Gaga? I'm a really big fan."
"Why did Taco Bell hire Eminem? Because he's a Wrap God"
"My bear's diarrhoea problems are starting to worry me. The vet says he's getting better but he's not out of the woods yet."
"How much coke did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men."
"baby moses: [crying] mum: ""why wont he stop"" dad: ""throw him in the river lol"" mum: ""okay"" this is from a book called the bible"
"Me, December 2016: I'm going to buy this juicer and lose some weight in January Me, January 2017: I have eaten the juicer"
"If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and barks like a pig, then I probably took too many pills."