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Joke of the Day

"I bet we'd have to say 'The steaks are pretty high' if a herd of cows ever got into a field of marijuana."

"Two Blondes Two blondes meet up for coffee and one asks the other what she has been upto; ""I had sex with two Brazilian guys last night"" ""Wow - I've never even met that many guys"" replied the other"

"Very few people can brag about getting a handjob from their barber after a haircut nowadays. Then again, very few people cut their own hair."

"What do you get when you mix alcohol with literature? Tequila Mockingbird!"

"How many sorority girls does it take to change a light bulb? Six. One to change it, one to take pictures and four to make t-shirts for the event."

"A pharmacy was broken into and the only thing stolen was a case of Viagra Police say to be on the lookout for hardened criminals"

"Some say youth is wasted on the young, I say wealth is wasted on the old. Also Oxycontin."

"I secretly love men from Scotland... It's my kilty pleasure."

"I went to the store today to stock up on bread, beer, and Captain Morgan just in case Hurricane Sandy decides to double back to NC..... Always good to be prepared..."

"I told a man I was voting third party He said, ""That's wasting your vote! Come on, gun to your head, who would you pick, Clinton or Trump"" ""Simple,"" I replied, ""I'd pick the bullet."""