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Joke of the Day

"what did the tampon say to the other tampon as they passed each other in the street? NSFW nothing. they were both stuck up cunts!"

"HALLOWEEN JOKE: Why don't witches ever have babies? Because warlocks have hollow weenies!"

"My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort."

"To the 11 year old girl on FB with the relationship status ""it's complicated"" How can it be complicated? Did he take your animal crackers?"

"""Why aren't you wearing a coat?""""Coats are for pussies.""My mother asks too many questions."

"I once tried to overdose on Viagra. It was the hardest time of my life.."

"[commercial] Narrator: These are real people and not actors- Actor watching the commercial: *throws lamp at TV* WE'RE PEOPLE TOO!"

"A black guy and a white guy fall from a tree. Who hits the ground first? Better question would be: Why were they in the tree in the first place?"

"The Funniest Joke I Ever Heard Was... Post them in here. Honestly, off the top of your head, post the funniest joke you've ever heard. Whether it's very long, or a simple one-liner, share it!"

"Why is Hillary Clinton just like a man? Because she won't pull out until she's done."