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Joke of the Day

"I'm thinking about moving carreer into building kitchen worktops... but that seems counter productive"

"I make one mistake and my pharmacist now adds ""by mouth"" on the prescription label."

"How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from..."

"What do you say when German secret police is bugging you? geSTAHPo!"

"My doctor told me I should do something about my athlete's foot. But that's what makes me such a fun guy."

"A beautiful girl said hello to me. I replied 'thank you' before I could think."

"Chris Christie's name... Is so dumb to me. It's just the male and female version of the same name. Like Eric Erica Daniel Danielle or Bruce Caitlyn"

"Why didn't they let Voldermort play quidditch? ...because he'd always just Slytherin the grass."

"Netflix is all, ""Do you want to watch a bunch of crappy documentaries? No?? Well how about if we charged you $9 a month to watch them??"""

"Where does the General keep his armies? Up his sleevies!"