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Joke of the Day
"On a scale of 1-10, you're a 9 and I'm the 1 you need"
Next Joke
"Teens: I was an idiot when I was a kid 20s: I was an idiot when I was a teen 30s: I was an idiot in my 20s 33: if only there was a pattern"
"How did the hipster narco escape from prison? By going underground"
"Q: Can I ask you two questions? A: Ok, what's the second one?"
"The only way I want to see your ultrasound picture is if you're having a velociraptor."
"Your voice reminds me of a fart. It smells and nobody likes it."
"Why is Dublin the capital of Ireland? Cause it keeps on Dublin and Dublin."
"A Irishman, Mick goes to the doctor complaining of stomach pain... Doctor: ""Well I cant find anything wrong with you , it must be the drinking"" Mick : ""Ill come back when you're sober Doctor"""
"Being fat is just a giant trophy for all of the awesome food you ate."
"I was attacked at a birthday party by a Mexican man with a baseball bat. Thankfully he was blindfolded and extremely dizzy."