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Joke of the Day

"How to make your ears pop? Try some sparkly earrings."

"How is American beer like having sex in a canoe? It's fucking close to water."

"Most people who think I'm a nice person have no idea that I'd trade any one of my kids for a deep dish pizza."

"A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, ""Hey - that's pretty cool. Where did you get him?"" The parrot says, ""Detroit."""

"Gandalf is the new head coach of the Seattle Seahawks"

"I write a lot of racist jokes, but, don't get me wrong, I'm not a Republican."

"The doctor told me to stay positive I have HIV"

"Intelligent people are some of the biggest idiots I've ever met."

"""I'm Bill Gates, today I'll teach you how to count to 10"" 1, 2, 3, NT, 95, 98, 2000, Me, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10"

"Why is Peter Pan always flying around? Because he can never never land"