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Joke of the Day

"I write a lot of racist jokes, but, don't get me wrong, I'm not a Republican."

"feedback 4 people revving motorbikes loud in residential areas: there is absolutely 0% chance that u r impressing literally a single person"

"What is Mr. T's favorite month? April, fools"

"I carry a gun because I'd rather be judged by 12 than carried by six."

"My son, who is 10, just explained that the things he did when he was 7 no longer reflect the person that he is now. I need a drink."

"Why shouldn't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she'd just ""let it go"". My 6 year old told me this. I will show myself out now..."

"You hate it ""No I just didn't think we'd spend our anniversary here"" *pssss* ""What was that?!"" The bouncy castle is deflating"

"Emailing teachers be like Me: *polite greeting, multiple paragraphs, perfect grammar* Professor: ""sure"" -sent from my iPhone"

"Apparently, when your boss asks you to get a cake for a coworker's 60th birthday, 'cake' is not code for 'stripper.' Live & learn, guys."

"I'm taking up cross-stitch so I can make handmade gifts for all the girls in my life Cause bitches get stitches. (though I won't have as many once this stupid joke gets out.)"