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Joke of the Day

"I still remember what my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket... ""How far do you reckon I can kick this bucket?"""

"I introduced my friend to my first wife. She said she was actually going to divorce me if I kept calling her that."

"I told my ex she was cross between a rare coin and female dog. A two faced bitch."

"two blondes... ...are chit chatting. ""I slept with a Brazillian!"" ""Wow, how many is that?"""

"What does a chemistry lesson and a night club have in common? Someone drops the acid and someone drops the base."

"What's the loudest thing in the last two Harry Potter films? Deaf Lee's ""HELLO!"""

"I watched pom. You misread that, didn't you?"

"I play music for the National Alzheimer's Awareness club ""Somebody I used to know"" probably wasn't the best song to pick"

"Sometimes I accidentally make eye contact with someone and it's like ""well I better just go with it"" and I begin sprinting at them"

"Why did the pillow cross the road? Because it was cooler on the other side."