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Joke of the Day

"I play music for the National Alzheimer's Awareness club ""Somebody I used to know"" probably wasn't the best song to pick"

"Damn, girl! Is that a mirror in your pocket?... ...You conceited bitch!"

"What kind of education does a horny mathematician impart? Sets education."

"I rented The Interview on ITunes tonight. I have to say it was the most boring movie I've ever seen. Two hours into it and it still isn't ready to play."

"How do you turn a little boy into a little girl? With a small loan of a million dollars."

"Not Going To Try This Again"

"My girlfriend called me pedophile earlier. That's a big word for an eight year old"

"What is the difference between the Pope and acne? Acme doesn't come on to your face until after 13."

"To all the girls who take pictures in the bathroom in public places, I'm taking a dump in the stall behind you....Don't forget to tag me"

"""Dad, did you know in some countries men don't know their wives till after they get married?"" ""Um, it's like that in every country, son."""