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Joke of the Day
"I watched pom. You misread that, didn't you?"
Next Joke
"I don't' carelessly utter profanities like a commoner. I take my time and articulate them properly; after all I'm a fcuking gentleman."
"When I make you breakfast in bed, the least you can say is thank you. I mean what's with all this ""how did you get in my house"" nonsense?"
"Whats the difference between a burglar and an ex-wife? At least the burglar has the decency to leave you the house."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cartoon ! Cartoon who ? Cartoon up just fine she purrs like a cat !"
"How do you know if a guy has an asian wife? He'll tell you."
"What do you call a row of boxers-in-training? A shitty punch line."
"Why did the competitive deep-sea diver lose the big competition? He couldn't handle the pressure."
"""Oh. My. God."" - the first duck to eat bread."
"Why do most chicken coups have 2 doors? Because if they had 4 doors, it'd be considered a chicken sedan!"