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Joke of the Day

"My FitBit app says I sleep walked 20 steps last night, glad I was asleep during all that damn exercise."

"How was copper wire invented? Two jews picked up the same penny simultaneously"

"I like my steak like I like my women. White and domineering."

"they say that if you play nickelback backwards, it's devil worship... But even worse, if you play it forwards it's nickelback"

"When I get a little tipsy I like to go to a random neighbourhood, knock on the door and say, ""Sarah Connor?""."

"Hot girls on Twitter: Single and straight: 3% Lesbians: 12% Taken and straight: 15% Men: 70%"

"FYI: You can't make rose by running red wine through a Brita filter."

"I married a Jewish girl... It was the best career move I ever made."

"What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas ? Thanks I'll never part with it !"

"What kind of wolf never runs? Steppenwolf"