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Joke of the Day

"In the library: ""Excuse me, where are the books about paranoia?"" ""They are... right behind you."""

"How many muscles does a chicken have in its neck? Just enough to hold it's pecker up..."

"Kids are like farts. You can just about stand your own."

"Interviewer: Give me an example of something you took with you from your last job Me: Toilet paper"

"New Year's Resolution- Date more models... Edit: Date more Edit: Date again LAST Edit: Stop crying while masturbating"

"What's a russian's favorite golf club? A putin wedge."

"I would make a joke about boiling water But it would be too steamy for reddit."

"What kind of meat does the Pope eat? Nun"

"I used to be extremely afraid of hurdles... but I got over it."

"[painting a picture of the last supper] ""Who's that?"" ""Darth Vader."" ""Was he 1 of Jesus disciples?"" ""I dunno, I've only seen the 1st movie."""