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Joke of the Day

"How did the dyslexic American mathematician sing the first line of his national anthem? ""Oh secant, you say?"""

"What mustache can an alien not pull off? A human chu"

"[Crate and Barrel job interview] ""So why do you want to work here?"" DONKEY KONG [sweating]: I love interior design"

"Two fish were in a tank, and one said to the other: ""Do you know how to drive this thing?"""

"*puts arm around you* You've been burned before but, you're safe with me. Let your gaurd down, girl. *steals your pizza*"

"What cheese is the most religious? Swiss cheese! (it's the most hole-y)"

"What does a lawyer wear to work? A lawsuit!"

"Do you know why you should never program a women class? Because women aren't objects."

"I don't kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, ""Whoa! I'm way too high!"" -Bruce Baum"

"Sorry I made fun of your erectile dysfunction,,, I hope there's no hard feelings"