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Joke of the Day

"I have an epileptic friend... He's a jerk..."

"I don't know how some people do it ""4 minute shower"" It takes me like 4 minutes to even get the water to be the right temperature."

"""It helps knowing that everyone else will die with me if we crash."" ~my 11yo on why she's not afraid to fly unaccompanied"

"All Aboard! by Abel Seamann"

"A man walks into a bar... ...with a duck on his head. The bartender says, ""May I help you, sir?"" The duck says, ""Yeah. Help me get this human out of my ass."""

"Why name hurricanes lame names, like Sandy? Name that shit Hurricane Death Megatron 300 and I guarantee niggas be evacuating like they need to."

"I started this new whiskey diet. I've lost 4 days already!"

"What's the benefit of having sex with 24 year olds? There's 20 of them."

"My wife removed the ""G"" key from our keyboard at home so I could appreciate the frustration associated with not hitting the spot."

"I Farted in an Apple Store I FARTED IN A APPLE STORE AND THEY GOT MAD But it's NOT MY FAULT THEY DON'T HAVE WINDOWS"