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Joke of the Day
"cats are the best because you can pet one while you're talking to someone and look totally evil"
Next Joke
"Siri, answer all of my toddler's stupid questions."
"Did Delilah ever tell that guy what New York City is like"
"What's the difference between politics and professional wrestling?.. In professional wrestling they know what they are doing."
"*glamorously folds laundry *seductively wipes off countertops *slowly bends over to pick up toys *sexily trips over the cat..."
"Why does a billionaire need a Bat signal? He is in a cave. How does he even see the signal? Why won't you just text him?"
"I want what any normal girl wants in life... A great job, a loving husband and to be the wallpaper on thousands of iPhones."
"Apparently I watch too much internet porn.... At least that's what my ebony girlfriend says."
"What did jesus say to the romans after he rose on the third day and talked about their behavior? Yall nailed it."
"What do you call an alligator in a vest? an investigator."