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Joke of the Day

"If you ever get arrested, lighten the mood by pretending to go for his gun."

"what's a cheap, tasteless way to kill a werewolf? Coors Lite, the silver bullet"

"Why did the cows return to the marijuana field? It was a case of the pot calling the cattle back."

"Eternal damnation for the sorry acquaintance who cons you into watching his favorite film and keeps looking to see if you're reacting."

"My standards are as high as my pull up bar which is on the ground, in my basement."

"2 for the price of 1 Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the idiot's house Knock Knock <Who's there?> It's the Chicken"

"Your momma so fat... She needs cheat codes for Wii Fit."

"The moral of World War 2 Two wrong don't make a right, but three Reichs make a left"

"I would like to give thanks to the brave men and women who died a long time ago tasting which plants were edible and which plants were not."

"I am willing to promise my kids anything just so they go away for a while. I learned that trick from the government"