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Joke of the Day

"I have CDO... It's like OCD, but all the letters are in alphabetical order"

"The reason you can't go back after going black is because none of them have a car to take you back or a job to buy gas."

"If God is always watching... ...then one day, while masturbating, I'm gonna look that motherfucker straight in the eye and finish like a boss."

"What's the difference between a taliban outpost and an Afghani Elementary school? I don't know, I just fly the drones"

"Keep your daughters away from Olympic Track and Field events: Doctor's orders."

"why were the people in the twin towers so upset? They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plain"

"Why was the topologist confident about performing a vasectomy? Because open balls are in his neighborhood"

"I'm so hungry I could Instagram a horse."

"Please, call me Seahorse. Mr. Seahorse was my mother."

"Why did the dog fail his driving test? Because he's a dog. Dogs cannot drive."