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Joke of the Day

"""I just heard that that one actress from Legally Blonde, Reese... 'whatever her last name is' got stabbed to death walking to her car last night."" ""Witherspoon?"" ""No, with a knife."""

"A sadist joke I thought-up today at 2:20PM Q: Where do happy sadists come from? A: A Sadist-factory! get it? get it?"

"The United States of America Yeah, That's it."

"Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calendar? They each got six months"

"My girlfriend and I went to the bank and opened a shared savings account, mostly for buying weed. ... ... It will be our joint account."

"My Friend is too smart My Friend said that Onion is the only food that can make You cry. I threw a Coconut at his nose. I know I am smart :D."

"Sitting in traffic wishing I had a Sasquatch to lean out of the passenger window and make police car noises."

"fifty shades of grey It's the REAL verson of fifty shades https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OU0yHAtqe4k"

"My wife accused me of being immature... ...so I told her to get out of my fort."

"What do you call a grunge gardener? Hedgy."