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Joke of the Day

"Pun contest One day a man saw that there was a local paper puns contest. So he decided to write his 10 best puns and enter them into the contest in hope of winning. Unfortunately no pun in 10 did."

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"[Racist?] Why do all Asian kids get straight A's? Because the ones that don't are never heard from again. I'll be here all day folks."
"Women who brag about multi-tasking should chill out. There is nothing cool about doing 3 things wrong at once!"
"Kanye West gets a bad rap... And then he makes it even worse."
"My girlfriend said ""Give me 10 inches and make it hurt!"" So I stabbed her with a ruler."
"What does a lawyer and a prostitute have in common? They both fuck you for your money."
"A hammer and a Nail cost $1.10 The hammer is a dollar more than the nail, how much is does the nail cost?"
"why is oral sex better than cake? Because you cannot have your cake and eat it too"
"Donald Trump says he'll open up secret 9/11 files. Miley Cyrus says she'll flee the country if Trump is elected. Connect the dots, people."
"Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong pair of socks this morning."