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Joke of the Day

"Knock, knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him."

"What was the pornstar doing in school? Analogy"

"Headphone Jack [Removed]"

"What does a gay horse eat? Haaaaaaeeeeyyyyy"

"Two 5th graders are doing Math homework. One tells the other, ""I don't know what 99 is in Roman numerals."" The other lowers her glasses and says, ""IC."""

"Why Seth MacFarlane's Oscars were mean spirited and misogynistic, coming up next after our review of the worst dressed women."

"What can't I find on the internet? My keys"

"So I was doing donuts in my car.. And a cop pulls me over. Now I know what you're thinking, who names their dog Donuts?"

"What do you get when you cross a bungee cord with an owl?? My ass."

"A man walks into a bar.... ...sits down, orders a beer, and begins to gaze longingly at the barmaid. The barmaid hands him the beer, returns the stare and says... ""Take a pitcher, it'll last longer."""