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Joke of the Day
"Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway."
Next Joke
"I recently switched from Wells Fargo to a credit union... ...my banking got much simpler - bye all accounts."
"Why was Crassus bad at insults? He never really got the hang of Parthian shots."
"Watching the Flintstones in the UAE... is not possible in Dubai because the people don't like it. But the people from Abu Dhabi do."
"First woman in space ""Houston, we have a problem."" What? ""Never mind."" What's the problem? ""Nothing."" Please tell us. ""I'm fine."""
"Tell a girl a million times shes not fat... She'll never believe you... Call her fat once she'll never forget it."
"A girl asked if I play any Indian instruments. I told her I play mandolin, violin and cello. Close, but no sitar."
"Jersey Shore just got cancelled. Clearly an act of God. Your move, atheists."
"Proud to announce that I'm still the undefeated champion at racing with drivers who don't know we're racing."
"I have a question for you guys. After the door bell rings, how long do I have to wait to turn the TV volume back up and make any movement?"