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Joke of the Day

"First woman in space ""Houston, we have a problem."" What? ""Never mind."" What's the problem? ""Nothing."" Please tell us. ""I'm fine."""

"I know a certain right hand that is going to be getting VERY lucky tonight..."

"What kind of ears does an engine have? Engineers"

"That awkward moment when you're digging a hole to hide a body, and you find another body #truestory"

"My sexual fetishes my sexual fetishes have been getting more and more perverse ever so slowly. But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realized I had hit rock bottom."

"What is the similarity between poop and aliens? They both live on Uranus"

"NSFW: ""Do you spit or swallow?"" I was out on a date with this girl, when I asked her, ""Do you spit or swallow?"" She slapped my face and stormed off... I'm never taking anyone to wine tasting again!!"

"You know a girl is mad when she starts off her sentence saying, ""I just find it funny how..."" because there's a 99.9% chance she did not find it funny."

"If I had a talking shark for a sidekick, I'd probably get into more deep sea shenanigans."

"How many women does it take to park a car? A man."