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Joke of the Day

"A dick has a sad life His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his next door neighbor is an asshole,his best friend is pussy and his owner beats him habitually.!!"

"What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics? Walking."

"what's that lassie? ""Bark"" Timmy's in a well? ""Bark"" and he's jerkin it? ""Bark"" he's looking at what?! ""Bark"" dude I've heard enough"

"Bodybuilder 1 says to bodybuilder 2 ""hey man, I think we're out of protein powder"" Bodybuilder 2 responds ""No whey!!"""

"Pretty sure the lead actress from 'Precious' has a twin sister who works at every Wendy's I've ever been to"

"Can you cover for me/ I missed my shift."

"Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Yeah, neither have they."

"What do you guys think of this quote I came up with? ""Good artists copy, great artists steal."""

"My wife said she for Lent she was giving up eating meat. I thought she did that after the wedding vows."

"Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon."