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Joke of the Day

"Why did the man keep reloading the picture of the candy cane at the potluck? He was in charge of refresh mints."

"What's the best thing about fingering a gypsy woman who's on her period? You get your palm red for free."

"I was playing football with some SJWs. They found my playing strategy highly offensive."

"People say I'm not very responsible, when in fact I'm responsible for ""pajama casual"" being added to the employee handbook as inappropriate."

"What's Green and has 5 Wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels! Shnockers"

"A sarcastic thumbs-up is a good substitute for the middle finger."

"What did the clerk say to the customer who tried to buy a candy bar with plastic quarters? This is non-cents!"

"It is possible to chew and swallow $80 of shrooms in the length of time it takes the cop to walk from his car to yours."

"Why does James Bond keep telling people his real name? Worst. Spy. Ever."

"[casting call] -have u acted before? *shows VHS of me at a food court eating free samples like I might purchase the meal -oh this guys good"