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Joke of the Day

"A sarcastic thumbs-up is a good substitute for the middle finger."

"Mom: can i borrow your laptop? Me: *deletes history* Me: *logs out of twitter* Me: *closes chrome* Me: *opens internet explorer* Me: sure"

"I have a friend named Free Bird He gets lost at concerts."

"Patient: Doctor! Doctor! I think I'm addicted to Twitter! Doctor: Sorry, I don't follow you."

"Two rednecks are sitting on a porch... ...watching a dog licking itself. One redneck says to the other, ""Boy, don't you wish you could do that?"" The other replies, ""That dog'd bite yooouuu!"""

"What do a Harvard lawyer and a Yale lawyer have in common? They both got accepted to Yale."

"Sure, I'll help you find those paper cuts. -Purell"

"As soon as you take a single slice of pizza... ...there's no longer enough to go around."

"This isn't a joke, I'm a Black guy who's in dire need of white jokes.... Give me your best Reddit! ^^^^"

"Why do farts smell? so deaf people can enjoy them too."