135573

Joke of the Day

"[casting call] -have u acted before? *shows VHS of me at a food court eating free samples like I might purchase the meal -oh this guys good"

"Are you even really committed to going green if you don't use both sides of the toilet paper?"

"Accidentally ran into my ex in town the other day and then purposely put the car in reverse and ran into her again"

"A photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop says ""can I take your bags?"" ""No,"" she answers, ""I'm traveling light."" *(I'm new to the community, this is best I've got, I'm sorry)*"

"When I'm in the bathroom a long time, I come out sniffing & wiping my nose so people think I was doing coke and not making a doody"

"Why did the bishop love Walmart? 'Coz the boys pants are all half off."

"A person on this website accused me of writing ""a thousand bad jokes"" and I was like wow that's a weird way to say you like 7000 of my jokes"

"How do you know you're talking to a pilot? Don't worry, they'll tell you."

"Have you ever had sex while camping? It's fucking in tents!"

"Now that Prince is dead... ...is he formerly known as the artist formerly known as Prince?"