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Joke of the Day

"I asked my heart why I can't sleep at night? Heart replied ""because you slept in the afternoon, don't act like you're in love"""

"What do you call a deaf gynaecologist? A lip reader"

"Protein in my laundry If you captured it all you'd be able to fuel a Chi Psi chapter right before a lacrosse tournament."

"Guy: There's a suit booked for me at a 5 star hotel. Girl: It's called a 'Suite' Guy: No it's a 'Suit'. I'm a waiter."

"Where do you find a dog with no legs? The last place you left it."

"Apparently this dude at the mall was just tying his shoe and did NOT want to play leap frog. My bad, dude. My bad."

"Jokes on Me - Said Djoke's girlfriend."

"What was Hamlet screaming when running around a circle ? 2(pi)r or not 2(pi)r....(snicker)"

"Me: Honey, are you awake? [wife rustles] Hmmm? Me: When we were fighting & you said ""Wolverine's powers suck,"" did you really mean that"

"Why was the ketchup in the refrigerator embarrassed? He saw the salad dressing."