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Joke of the Day

"I asked my heart why I can't sleep at night? Heart replied ""because you slept in the afternoon, don't act like you're in love"""

"I'm sick and I'm going to work today; so if there's some kind of Contagion-level outbreak, I'm your patient-zero."

"What do you call a frog with seven legs? A seven-legged frog."

"""Hi, My name is John Foreman and I run a cabinet making business."" John said counter-productively."

"I bet we can get into some serious Treble together."

"Beauty is only skin deep... but it sure looks good on the ladies."

"Clearly something went amiss when I said I liked an animal in the bedroom and he showed up with a raccoon."

"[NSFW]What does a woman, fridge and washing machine all have in common? They all drip when they're fucked."

"If we got paid for how many tweets we put out, some of you would be millionaires in mansions. I'd be living in Government Assisted Housing."

"Y2K? Because 1 K isn't enough."