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Joke of the Day

"I told my mate that I couldn't make his wedding as I'm going to a brothel. ""You fucking arsehole"" he said. ""Depends how much money I have""."

"Q. Who was the greatest financieer in the Bible? A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation."

"Amazon Review: A History of Criminals Not a bad book. Prose and cons."

"Who is Nickelback's biggest fan? Helen Keller."

"My kids don't even know they have a grandma that gives them $100 on their birthdays"

"What does caravans and women underwear have in common? Both are in the way if you are in a hurry"

"What is Gordon Ramsay's favourite film? It's fucking Frozen."

"All my tattoos pretty much mean the same thing. I had money to blow."

"I had no idea she was allergic to rat poison your honor"

"[titanic] SAILER: but captain there's an ice berg right ahead CAPTAIN WHO LOOKS SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE A SHARK: i said straight ahead"