59726

Joke of the Day

"What is the main material used in the manufacture of TIE fighters? TIE tanium"

"Leo: *names his child Oscar* Doctor: ""Would you like to hol-"" Leo: ""Say it like we rehearsed it."" Doctor: *sighs* ""And the Oscar goes to..."""

"When I refer to kids as ""Snot-dripping, germ-spreading spawns of Satan"" I hope you realize I'm not referring specifically to YOUR children."

"Super soakers are like training wheels for black kids in the hood."

"20% of traffic accidents involve deer.Who allowed deer to drive in the first place?"

"My girlfriend broke up with me for talking about video games too much. What a weird thing to fallout 4. I know this is a repost but I just hoped this would blow up."

"Dentist: ok open up ""Well I guess it all started when my dad left..."" Dentist: no I mean- Assistant: wait bill...let him finish"

"What's a pedophile's favorite pair of shoes? White Vans."

"If I survived a plane crash in the wilderness, my biggest concern would be how much my airport parking bill would be."

"Hate it when dudes say ""leave something to the imagination!"" like what do you think is under my clothes? a mystery prize? a pumpkin? Obama?"