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Joke of the Day

"Leo: *names his child Oscar* Doctor: ""Would you like to hol-"" Leo: ""Say it like we rehearsed it."" Doctor: *sighs* ""And the Oscar goes to..."""

"If I ever saw an amputee being hung, I'd start yelling out letters."

"I love horror movies until it's time to do laundry in the basement and I have to run up the stairs before a scary force pulls me back down."

"""I'm sorry, sir but you have cancer and you only have 5..."" ""5 years left to live? 5 months? Tell me, Doc! Tell meeeeee!"" ""5...4...3...2...1"""

"Why don't feminists carry handguns? Because of the triggers"

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? You can't jelly someone into a wood chipper."

"Wanna ruin a girl's day? Respond to her next text with ""Who is this?"""

"Who's the fastest runner in the chinese olympic team? Mr. Do Ping"

"I'm living on the edge. I haven't backed up in weeks"

"If masturbation lead to blindness internet would be in Braille"