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Joke of the Day

"Don't be easy to get because you'll be easy to forget."

"Poland... Poland - a country between Russia to the east and Germany to the west. If they piss Russia off, they turn the gas off. If they piss Germany off they turn the gas on."

"Whats the difference between a steak, an egg, and a blow job? You can beat your meat and beat an egg, but you sure cant beat a blow job"

"What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can't helium, and you can't curium, you might as well barium."

"Love is like a unicorn. I don't have a unicorn."

"I stayed at my girlfriends house the other day but her dad wouldn't let us sleep together Which was a shame because he's really fit"

"4th grade student: How old are you? Me: Quite a bit older than you. Student: So like 23? Me: Deal. Tell all your friends."

"Teacher: ""Sam what is the outside of a tree called?"" Sam: ""I don't know."" Teacher: ""Bark Sam bark."" Sam: ""Bow wow wow!"""

"Blondes are dumb whores... They all think less than equals three."

"I know what it's like to be pulled back from death and appreciate life more since I dropped my cell phone in the toilet and it still works"