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Joke of the Day

"I know what it's like to be pulled back from death and appreciate life more since I dropped my cell phone in the toilet and it still works"

"What kind of books do fruit read? Pulp Fiction"

"How did the cow feel when it couldn't produce milk? Udderly useless."

"(Offensive) Old enough to count... Old enough to mount ;)"

"Did you guys hear about the funk singer who stubbed his toe? He said ""ow""."

"There's something really addictive about Brownies... ... I think it's their exotic accent."

"Last year for Christmas I got a sweater ,for this year I would prefer a squirter or a moaner ."

"""The first guy to suggest peeing on a jellyfish sting was called a pervert but it worked"" I said to my wife as she complained of a toothache"

"I bought my girlfriend a treadmill and a Victoria's Secret catalogue."

"How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas? Q: How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas? A: He could feel his presence!"