59631

Joke of the Day

"Two cannibals are eating a clown... One looks up at the other and says ""does this taste funny to you?"""

"How many Shia laBeouf's does it take to change a lightbulb? NonononononononononoNONONONONONO! NONONONONONONO! NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO! (he can't.)"

"Why does my porn website have a share to google+ button? ...I dont want people to know I use google+"

"[x-post from askreddit] Aside from throwing stones, what should a person living in a glass house not do?"

"I tried eharmony. They kept matching me up with women who look like me in a wig. I'd be too intimidated to date someone that attractive."

"Even though I'm a guy I still get nervous when I pee on a pregnancy test."

"What's the difference between the bird flu and the the swine flu? For bird flu you need tweetment, for swine flu you need oinkment."

"My stomach just made a really weird noise. So I'm just going to send a pizza down to check it out."

"Goal weight: ""are you ok, you look sick"""

"A termite walked into a bar and asked, ""Is the bartender here?"""