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Joke of the Day

"My stomach just made a really weird noise. So I'm just going to send a pizza down to check it out."

"You're like a prize winning fish. I don't know whether to eat you or mount you."

"I used to know a great joke about a boomarang... Oh well... it'll come back to me."

"Game of Thrones: Now with 100 percent more zombies! The Walking Dead should fire back by adding kingdoms."

"people who can fall asleep quickly freak me out don't they have thoughts"

"What do dinosaurs put on their pizza? Tomato-saurus"

"I heard a Sean Connery film once got am R rating Because he said ""sit"" too many times Edit: shit didn't proofread the title, *an* not *am*"

"What did the Wealth of Nations say to the Communist Manifesto to cheer it up? Some day you will be red!"

"I couldn't decide how to propose to the love of my life So I decided to ask her husband for advice."

"I have what CNN is calling 'snow fatigue' symptoms include: Being tired of winter A sudden desire for spring Thoughts of murderous rage"