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Joke of the Day

"Harriet Tubman printed on $20 notes, immediately rendering them worth $12. #threefifthscompromise #myjokesarefunnierwhenIexplainthem"

"Bill Cosby runs into a bar one day. He saves it for later."

"I think my wife is overdoing her lent observance. She won't even toss my salad."

"An old lady on the bus just tried to set me up with her daughter. Here's everything she knows about me: 1) I don't have a car"

"Her: Which actress would you like to get stuck in an elevator with? Me: One who knows how to fix elevators."

"I had sex with Adele last night... I was rolling in the deep."

"What's it like to go down on an ewok? It's alright, they're just a little chewy."

"What do 9/10 people love? Gangrape."

"TV before 6pm: ""Men are idiots."" TV after 6pm: ""Women are idiots"" TV after midnight: ""Abs are easy to get!"""

"Lost my girlfriend due to religion I'm pretty much numb to beheadings at this point."