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Joke of the Day

"Which murderer is the safest to be stuck in an elevator with? The ax murderer of course. He will always ax you before murdering you."

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"Whats the Difference Between Hitler and Stalin? Hitler Hit. Stalin Stalled."
"No thanks, doctor's office that used to be a house."
"I'm going out with two anorexic girls, Two birds, one stone"
"I just seen a black guy walk through a spiderweb and hands down it was the best impression of a white man dancing I've ever seen."
"""Ladies and Gents."" That concludes our tour of the toilets."
"Why did the chicken cross the road To see the ugly man. Knock knock Who's there? The chicken."
"Looking to sell me theremin. Haven't touched it in years."
"What do you get if you cross an alligator with Sherlock Holmes ? An Investigator."
"[soup kitchen] *homeless man is handed a plate* What the hell is this? -Turkey bacon. *throws tray against wall* I'm hungry! Not desperate!"