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Joke of the Day
"I like my beer like I enjoy my violence. Domestic."
Next Joke
"Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy? It was Valenswine's Day."
"What is the worst joke in philosophy? One that kant be repeated."
"What's red and white and red, red and white and red and white? Santa Claus rolling down a roof!"
"I'm at my absolute fakest when I'm wishing people happy birthday on Facebook."
"A great way to relieve stress from work & family is to go for a run. Don't stop running til ur in a new town w/ a new life. You're free now."
"Try saying ""good luck"" without sounding sarcastic. Good luck."
"Wife: Who is it? Me [hand over phone]: The police, they say it's now illegal to fake throw a ball Dog in other room: [hangs up his phone]"
"Why did voldermort used Twitter instead of Facebook? Because he only had followers. Not friends."
"Grammar. The difference between feeling your nuts, and feeling you're nuts."