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Joke of the Day
"I hear voices in my head sometimes. I just ignore them and keep killing people."
Next Joke
"If I were a girl who knew a lot about cars, I'd open up a body shop called Lady Parts."
"We had a safety meeting at work today. They asked me ""what steps would you take in event of a fire? ""Fucking big ones"" was apparently not the right answer."
"""Fucking hell, I've only been in prison a short while and look how much my grass has grown. ""Stop dicking around, Oscar, put your legs back on."""
"Like the man who has run out kleenexes... this is bound to come in handy!"
"Rumour has it Toy Story 4 is going to focus on Andy's mom's toys Coincidentally, they are also called Woody and Buzz"
"When I was young I would go and throw rocks at the man doing Taekwondo in the park I would always get a huge kick out of it"
"My Favorite Latvian Joke One day, hear knock on door. Man ask ""Who is?"" ""Is potato man. I come around to give free potato."" Man is very excite and opens door. Is not potato man, is secret police."
"""I've got 99 problems."" - Walt Disney after only being able to give two Dalmatian puppies away"
"What is long and black? The unemployment line."