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Joke of the Day

"A mugger jumps out in front of a university student... ...and shouts ""your money or your life!"" The student keeps walking, and says ""Sorry mate, I'm a Computer Science student. I don't have either""."

"I thought I share this gem What is the worse thing you can do to a blind man? .....Leave the plunger in the toilet!"

"Not that I hate you.. But I'll unplug your life support to charge my phone"

"What's red and silly? A blood clot."

"My mom's late for everything, and it irritates the hell out of me. For example, last week she drove me to an abortion clinic."

"Monica Lewinsky is voting for Donald Trump in the 2016 Presidential Election, because the last time a Clinton was in office, it left a bad taste in her mouth."

"Why was the gunman on a diet? Because he was still at large."

"It's raining. I'm going to be late for work. I can't fit my hair in the car."

"What's the difference between broccoli and boogers? You can't get kids to eat broccoli."

"What is heavy forward but not backward? **ton**"