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Joke of the Day

"Found a site for hardcore Harambe Supporters It's called Omegle, Everyone has their dicks out for Harambe."

"What type of sense of humor does a dust storm have? -A very dry sense of humor"

"If you make an oriental dizzy.... does he become disoriented?"

"Doctor, reaching for a piece of paper: ""Are you on any meds?"" Me: ""You might want to grab a notebook."""

"[God creating the raccoon] God: make it cute with a lil mask Angel: haha aw okay God: also make it eat trash"

"My wife is gorgeous, selfless, amazing, highly intelligent and looking over my shoulder as I type."

"If Scientists invent a pill to make us immortal, I guarantee I'd choke to death swallowing it."

"Classic nursery rhyme Jack and Jill went up a hill, each had a quarter. Jill came down with fifty cents, you think they went for water?"

"How do you make a space party? You planet."

"America's flag should be a picture of a deep-fried smartphone with bullet holes in it"