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Joke of the Day

"I was having sex last night and had an epiphany right before I climaxed... I guess you could say that I came to a realisation."

"I want an ocean of orange soda It's a Fanta sea of mine"

"Why does Peter Dinklage drink Smirnoff? Because he can't reach for the Grey Goose"

"How many stoners does it take to change a lightbulb? None, the room is already lit."

"Hey babies, all those sights and sounds that you find so fascinating are actually boring as shit."

"You know why someone who's good at something is ""The Shit""? Because those who can't teach and those who do do."

"I'm not saying she was stupid, but I asked her how to spell Mississippi and she said 'the river or the state?'"

"98% of lawyers give the other 2% a bad name"

"How many raisins do I have to add to this bag of M&Ms before it qualifies as trail mix? One? I say one."

"During agricultural revolution canines... ...became dogmesticated. AHAHAHAHAHHHHAHAHAHAHa"